I have been so nervous the last few days in anticipation of today's appointment with the fertility doctor. No real reason other than no one has ever looked inside and out to see if I was a good candidate. I thought of "what ifs" but they all can be summarized to one "what if" and that is "What if he says I am not good enough?"
At this point I am pretty emotionally and physically invested in this process, determined that it will be successful. But as I sat there today and the doctor kept saying how amazing a candidate I was my thoughts shifted to my friend sitting beside me, through blood draws and intravaginal ultrasounds and pages and pages of questions, maybe the concerns that I had leading up to this appointment is how she feels. And to me she is good enough! She is amazing and worth every bit of this!
The sacrifices for this have begun. Today I had to back out of a race I was planning on running in October because the doctor asked that I do not do any level one exercise. Up until today I have been running 20+ miles a week. I felt guilty backing out on my team but as I said in my first blog, there is not a doubt in my mind that this is the right thing to do. And that basic truth will always be my driving force throughout this process.
So here we go!!! We still don't have final dates but we will in the next week or so. Next week I get to meet with a psychologist to determine if I am mentally stable enough to do this now that I have passed the physical requirements. Maybe that is the appointment I should be worried about hahahaha! I kid :)
I feel steadfast with this journey. 9 months of sacrifice for a lifetime of happiness!
