A Mothers Love...
A few days ago my friend posted:
"Giving in doesn't always mean you are weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough to finally let go"...
The tears just started flooding because I knew what this meant; within a few minutes of that post I got a text; "Destinee we would like to take you to dinner, we have an important question for you."
My friend and I had been meeting for lunch or coffee for the last couple months as she went through her 3rd round of in vitro. She was so positive and happy saying that whatever was meant to happen will. I wont go much into her journey because that is her story to tell. But during one of these lunches we began discussing having a gestational carrier (or as we called at that time: surrogacy)
For me pregnancy had always been a simple choice. Something I had "accidentally" accomplished a few times, resulting in 2 beautiful, healthy children that are my whole world. In fact for me the concern has always been NOT having more. And yet for her it wasn't so simple. She was enduring procedures and injections just for the chance to be a mom one day.
To me she had done everything right. Married the love of her life, they had traveled and spent time just being married and being best friends. They were financially responsible and would be able to care for children comfortably. She even majored in some form of child development and worked with children. And yet the one thing they wanted most they were struggling to have.
To be honest I was relieved (for her) when I received that text.
We met for dinner at La Bocca in Tempe. More tears were shed as she told me that she loved her children so much that she wanted them to come in this world with every opportunity possible, even if it meant she couldn't carry them. My answer to that was, " Sounds like you are ready to be a mother."
I sat for a few days and 'what if's' popped in my head as I talked with my family and my support system. But all of them went away as a gentle peace came over me. Because I knew it was the right thing to do. That no matter what this journey brought on that we would take it on one moment at a time and that in the end, it would all be okay.
This is AMAZING and it brings tears to my eyes every time I read it. James and I are so blessed to have you in our lives and love and care for you more than you will ever know. As James would say, the greatest gift you can do for someone, is something they can't do for themselves. And having a healthy child of our own is something we have been struggling with this past year. Because of my struggle with childhood cancer, I'm happy to be here, healthy and alive, but we now struggle with the after effects of all the chemotherpy and radiation I received at the young age of 12.
ReplyDeleteThis past year James and I have endured 3 failed IVF attempts, a surgery, multiple procedures, and many medications (injections) at an attempt to have a health child. We want what is best for our children and for them to have the best chance of health and survival. Our decision to use a gestational carrier , we feel will give them the best chance at health.
We would only trust to have someone extremely special and whom we trust to carry and love our children the first months of life. That special person is you Destinee and we don't doubt this for a minute.
We are excited to share this journey with you and with all of our friends and family. We are grateful for all your love and support and will keep you posted as things progress and there is stuff to share.
Jessica and James
Destinee, you are the person who does what everyone wishes they could, but don't have nearly the courage to.
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
Amazing. So proud of you.
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